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lordoftheozarks Telling Max About Valdis
Following this conversation:
Erik could have called, but this felt like the sort of thing he should tell Max face to face. He waits until he's sure Valdis is well-settled and then dresses to go out to meet Max at his shared home where, right about now, Max is probably starting to worry why Valdis hasn't come home. His theory is proven right when Max opens the door to him smelling of stress and sweat.
"Erik?" Judging by Max's widening eyes, Erik is not who he was expecting. "What's wrong?"
Damn, some of his worry must have still been showing on his face. Erik forgets, sometimes, how well Max can read him.
"Everything is all right, Max," he reassures. "Valdis is safe. She is resting in my home and she wanted me to let you know so you wouldn't worry more." Because they all know that Max will worry either way; it's really just a matter of how much.
"Why is she at your house??" Max doesn't seem all that relieved yet. Who can blame him? "What happened? Tell me everything!"
Max throws the door wide and leaves it open, expecting Erik to follow him in to the kitchen where he starts a kettle of hot water boiling. Erik does so without questioning, closing the door gently behind him before moving to pull out a seat for himself at the kitchen table.
"She wants to explain what happened to you herself, Max," he says with his hands steepled in front of him at the table.
"Okay," Max answers over his shoulder while he grinds some coffee beans down. "So, why isn't she here with you?"
"Because she can't be, yet. She had a stronger reaction to eating a demon's heart than she expected, and she came to my home because she needed someone she wasn't afraid of hurting to help her through the worst of the effects."
"I should have been there to help her," Max answers, setting the coffee tin down on the counter harder than he meant to.
"She could have harmed you. She did it to protect you, Max."
"I know, but sometimes I don't want to be protected!"
"Max..." Erik gets up and comes around to the counter to put a hand gently on the man's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know some of that is my fault. But, there's something you need to know about... about being the invulnerable one in a pair."
Max turns his watery eyes on Erik with an expression of wary confusion, but he stays silent, listening begrudgingly. That's enough of a signal for Erik to keep going.
"Max, for people like us, getting hurt means nothing. When the damage won't last, it begins to become meaningless. Now, I know that's hard for you because it still hurts to see the person you love suffer. The same is true for her, but to a level you cannot possibly imagine. But even that is livable. The one thing that isn't, is the thought of hurting you."
A small gasp escapes from Max and Erik's fingers squeeze his shoulder a little tighter to sooth it.
"I think I can speak for her as well as for myself when I say that there is nothing more terrifying than the possibility of losing control and hurting the people we love most. Think, Max. How hard would it be for her to forgive herself if she ever harmed you in a moment of lost control? Even if you forgive her? Even if she knows that? You wouldn't want to put her through something like that, would you?"
"No!" Max cries out, but then he answers again, softly, "No... I wouldn't."
"Then try to understand that she's doing this as much to protect herself as she is you. When she wakes in three days time, she will come find you and explain it all in greater detail."
"Three days?!"
"Max..." Erik raises one admonishing eyebrow
"Sorry," Max hangs his head. "I know, you're right. I just... don't like feeling helpless."
"You aren't helpless, you just don't seem to realize where your strengths really lie."
"Where?"
"Your heart, silly boy. You're the reason Valdis doesn't give in to her darkness. You're the reason she fights. You make the pain worth it because you are her sweetness and light. So, don't think of it as if she's protecting you for being weak or lesser. That isn't how she thinks of it, I'm certain. She's protecting her peace when she's protecting you. Let her do it, Max. She needs to do it."
Max is quiet for a long moment. Then, he slowly blows out a breath and nods. As much as he still hates to have to sit and wait, he understands. Valdis has told him all of these things in so many words and actions, he just needs trust her. He does trust her. And Erik. She knew that he would.
"I didn't know you and Valdis knew each other that well," he says at last.
Erik is very, very glad he isn't capable of blushing right now. "Yes, well. I suppose we've warmed up to each other a great deal. I've begun to view her as a friend. I care for her, Max."
Max's smile starts slow but upon hearing 'I care for her' it explodes into a full-on cheek-hurting grin. Well, well. That's something Max never thought he'd see. "I'm happy for you, Erik. This is great. Now we can start all hanging out together."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Max," Erik says suddenly flustered. "Let's just wait and see what she feels like in three days, hm?"
"Yeah, Okay," Max says, still grinning, though it's dimmed again. "By the way, did you want some coffee?"
"Sure, Max," Erik says on a sigh, relieved that this went as well as it did. "I'll have a sip before I go. Thank you."
Following this conversation:
Erik could have called, but this felt like the sort of thing he should tell Max face to face. He waits until he's sure Valdis is well-settled and then dresses to go out to meet Max at his shared home where, right about now, Max is probably starting to worry why Valdis hasn't come home. His theory is proven right when Max opens the door to him smelling of stress and sweat.
"Erik?" Judging by Max's widening eyes, Erik is not who he was expecting. "What's wrong?"
Damn, some of his worry must have still been showing on his face. Erik forgets, sometimes, how well Max can read him.
"Everything is all right, Max," he reassures. "Valdis is safe. She is resting in my home and she wanted me to let you know so you wouldn't worry more." Because they all know that Max will worry either way; it's really just a matter of how much.
"Why is she at your house??" Max doesn't seem all that relieved yet. Who can blame him? "What happened? Tell me everything!"
Max throws the door wide and leaves it open, expecting Erik to follow him in to the kitchen where he starts a kettle of hot water boiling. Erik does so without questioning, closing the door gently behind him before moving to pull out a seat for himself at the kitchen table.
"She wants to explain what happened to you herself, Max," he says with his hands steepled in front of him at the table.
"Okay," Max answers over his shoulder while he grinds some coffee beans down. "So, why isn't she here with you?"
"Because she can't be, yet. She had a stronger reaction to eating a demon's heart than she expected, and she came to my home because she needed someone she wasn't afraid of hurting to help her through the worst of the effects."
"I should have been there to help her," Max answers, setting the coffee tin down on the counter harder than he meant to.
"She could have harmed you. She did it to protect you, Max."
"I know, but sometimes I don't want to be protected!"
"Max..." Erik gets up and comes around to the counter to put a hand gently on the man's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know some of that is my fault. But, there's something you need to know about... about being the invulnerable one in a pair."
Max turns his watery eyes on Erik with an expression of wary confusion, but he stays silent, listening begrudgingly. That's enough of a signal for Erik to keep going.
"Max, for people like us, getting hurt means nothing. When the damage won't last, it begins to become meaningless. Now, I know that's hard for you because it still hurts to see the person you love suffer. The same is true for her, but to a level you cannot possibly imagine. But even that is livable. The one thing that isn't, is the thought of hurting you."
A small gasp escapes from Max and Erik's fingers squeeze his shoulder a little tighter to sooth it.
"I think I can speak for her as well as for myself when I say that there is nothing more terrifying than the possibility of losing control and hurting the people we love most. Think, Max. How hard would it be for her to forgive herself if she ever harmed you in a moment of lost control? Even if you forgive her? Even if she knows that? You wouldn't want to put her through something like that, would you?"
"No!" Max cries out, but then he answers again, softly, "No... I wouldn't."
"Then try to understand that she's doing this as much to protect herself as she is you. When she wakes in three days time, she will come find you and explain it all in greater detail."
"Three days?!"
"Max..." Erik raises one admonishing eyebrow
"Sorry," Max hangs his head. "I know, you're right. I just... don't like feeling helpless."
"You aren't helpless, you just don't seem to realize where your strengths really lie."
"Where?"
"Your heart, silly boy. You're the reason Valdis doesn't give in to her darkness. You're the reason she fights. You make the pain worth it because you are her sweetness and light. So, don't think of it as if she's protecting you for being weak or lesser. That isn't how she thinks of it, I'm certain. She's protecting her peace when she's protecting you. Let her do it, Max. She needs to do it."
Max is quiet for a long moment. Then, he slowly blows out a breath and nods. As much as he still hates to have to sit and wait, he understands. Valdis has told him all of these things in so many words and actions, he just needs trust her. He does trust her. And Erik. She knew that he would.
"I didn't know you and Valdis knew each other that well," he says at last.
Erik is very, very glad he isn't capable of blushing right now. "Yes, well. I suppose we've warmed up to each other a great deal. I've begun to view her as a friend. I care for her, Max."
Max's smile starts slow but upon hearing 'I care for her' it explodes into a full-on cheek-hurting grin. Well, well. That's something Max never thought he'd see. "I'm happy for you, Erik. This is great. Now we can start all hanging out together."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Max," Erik says suddenly flustered. "Let's just wait and see what she feels like in three days, hm?"
"Yeah, Okay," Max says, still grinning, though it's dimmed again. "By the way, did you want some coffee?"
"Sure, Max," Erik says on a sigh, relieved that this went as well as it did. "I'll have a sip before I go. Thank you."