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[lordoftheozarks]

When the ringing stops, all you'll hear is a cold voice that says one simple word, "Speak."

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Re: CW: continues

[lordoftheozarks]

Erik would say yes to another round instantly. He cannot deny that using his full strength on her, being as brutal as he is capable without worry or fear, was exhilarating, satisfying... maybe even something he needed just as much as she did. If it's only ever this once, it will still be a deeply satiating memory to him for a long time.

He startles when she says that, at first opening his mouth to deny it but... he can't. When he searches his feelings, he finds a field of them has started to bloom around her place in his heart. "No, it isn't. I like you, Valdis. I enjoy our discussions and I appreciate that they are rarely shallow."

He pauses to look into her face, as if trying to read her the way she can read him. "What kind of relationship do you want with me?"

Re: CW: continues

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis didn’t need him to confirm his feelings, she’s known they existed for a time, though subtle, but she’s glad he didn’t try to deny it. As he searches her face though, he won’t find much to give away her feelings, mostly because she doesn’t quite know herself.

“I don’t know.” She replies. “But I knew even in the depths of my hysteria that I could rely on you to help me. That’s got to mean something.”

She trusted him enough to invite that brutality, to enjoy it, to hold onto the power she had over him and allow him power over her. That’s not trust easily or readily given, but she’s not sure how she knew she could give it.

“I wish it were easy to explain, but I don’t want to use you just to satiate the monster, even if you are satisfied with just that. I don’t think it’s fair to you.”

[lordoftheozarks]

"I hope that it means you trust me," he answers softly, as if afraid of stepping too hard on thin ice. "And that it means I've changed enough to deserve that trust."

Perhaps it is the nature of what they are that makes it so difficult to read their own feelings. But he knows, instinctively, that he would not choose to betray her. It was for Max's sake alone, once, but now the thought of pushing her away with his actions springs forth a more personal grief. He would miss her company for its own sake.

"I don't think I would be quite content with only that, either. Friendship, after all, is a multifaceted gem."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Hmm. I think I could accept 'friends' as a start."

Valdis flops back down onto the pillows, wincing as she does so, some things still hurt, though none of them were inflicted by him.

"Sometimes I forget you were not with us on the Eterna, and how much you don't know."

[lordoftheozarks]

She'll feel the fluttering of anxiety go still in him when she does not reject his suggestion of friendship. Has it only been a year? Yet, somehow here they are.

"My experience onboard was, unfortunately, limited." That's a nice way of putting it when what he really means was it was a hellish three or so weeks of repeated agony, necessary or not.

"What part of what I don't know has crossed your mind now, if I may?"

[redlightgreenlight]

Even if everything had started as getting along for Max's sake, nothing said they couldn't become friends, especially when he has done everything within his power to change and grow as a person. She would be more of a hypocrite than normal if she refused to accept that.

"You saw my life in three acts, except...one of those acts wasn't about me."

[lordoftheozarks]

Since she has flopped back down, he decides to get a little mor comfortable himself, settling his back against the sturdy headboard and bringing his legs up onto the bed, over the covers, not beneath.

"When you say it was not about you, how metaphorical do you mean that?"

[redlightgreenlight]

"I mean I didn't even exist at the time when those events took place. Those events and my creation are hundreds of thousands of years apart."

Now that her mind is no longer clouded, she's able to try to put together the pieces. Much of it is guessing, but almost as much isn't.

"It's...complicated, but I'll do my best to make it make sense."

[lordoftheozarks]

As ever, she proves to be an enigma, but this starts to put things into perspective. He dares not try to interpret any of it yet.

"I will do my best to listen closely and only interrupt when necessary for my understanding."

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis turns her head to look at him, rolling the information over in her head.

“Tiamat is a primordial goddess of Destruction. Based on what I can infer, it seems that she and the original Angel of Death, Muriel, were lovers. Muriel betrayed her and scattered her shards across the universe. Except for her heart. He kept that piece of her.”

It seems so terrible for her to have been betrayed like that, for a brief moment, Valdis can even feel sorry for her.

“Fenrir did not choose me as his queen as random. I was the only one who could be queen, and the only one Tiamat could manifest within. I don’t know if that was only by design or out of a desire for revenge on Muriel.”

She paused to give him time to digest and ask any questions that may help her gather her thoughts in a useful direction.

[lordoftheozarks]

"Are you telling me that you share your heart with this primordial goddess Tiamat?"

Well. That explains Aster's interest perfectly. Petty as it may be, it also makes him feel just a little better about how much Valdis scares him, even now. Her power is immense. Is this why?

[redlightgreenlight]

“At the very least our lives are too closely intertwined for us to be separated.”

She pauses and her voice drops.

“At most my soul is clinging to a heart that doesn’t belong to it.”

And she’s not certain how stable a connection like that could ever be.

“Either way, she and I are both here, though she is currently sealed by dark magic.”

[lordoftheozarks]

"Does it cause you pain?" He can't begin to imagine what it must feel like to exist in such a precarious state. Well... actually, maybe he can. A little. Perhaps the beast that stalks him as it does all vampires isn't so different.

Another question quickly rises when that last little bit finally filters through to him. "Currently? Is there a risk of that seal being broken?"

[redlightgreenlight]

Her gaze rises to meet his.

“Sometimes, but the Void mostly keeps to itself these days. Earlier was an exception.”

Valdis watches him in silence for a moment after his second question, uncertain whether to answer with the truth or to deflect.

“I don’t know. The seal was originally meant to imprison me, not her. The Captain forced us to switch places and she has been quiet since.”

[lordoftheozarks]

"Is that what you call it...?"

He reaches to pat her leg out of an unconscious need for connection as they speak on such intimate things. He can tell this is difficult for her to tell him, even if he's not sure of the full context yet. Even this much is enough to raise the protective hackles in him.

"What happened, Valdis? On that ship? Who tried to imprison you?"

[redlightgreenlight]

"The Void is the animalistic part of Tiamat, it remains free while her consciousness is sealed away."

Valdis doesn't shy away from his touch, nor from the sudden anger in him.

"His name was Maxwell, he made a deal with Tiamat to release her in exchange for my soul, he didn't realize that she would betray him."

[lordoftheozarks]

"And that animal part drives a hunger in you for violence? Am I understanding right?" There's no judgement behind the question, but he is curious if that hunger is something she needs to feed routinely, and what that could mean for them all after today.

"Maxwell," his nose wrinkles a little because that name is so similar to their Max's but nothing else about him seems at all the same. "Is he a fool with more power than sense? I fail to see how he thought he could trust a goddess of destruction. I'm far more enraged that he thought your soul was his to bargain with." She could order him to go find that man right now and snap his neck and a part of him is sure he would do it.

"I take it he did succeed in releasing her. What became of you when that happened?"

[redlightgreenlight]

The corner of her mouth twitches as she resists a tired smile at the emotions he's feeling. Perhaps she shouldn't be surprised he caught feelings, maybe she wouldn't be surprised if she develops some in return.

"I'm afraid I don't know the answer to either question. The former seems to become restless when I commit violence for the sake of violence...the consumption of the heart of a demon prince likely didn't help either. As for the latter, I didn't even realize anything happened on the Eterna until I spoke to Mortanne. It was like I went to sleep and never woke up until she called me. I learned later that Tiamat almost destroyed the Eterna and it was the Captain who switched us right before Mortanne called me here."

What happened after on the Entera she only knows from those who arrived here from after her time on the ship.

[lordoftheozarks]

"Perhaps that violence calls to her, brings her closer to the surface." Again he cannot help but draw a parallel there to himself and the way the beast inside always lifts its nose at the scent of blood.

"I'm sorry. It must be distressing to know that a part of your recent existence has been kept from you"--again--"Would you rather I ask Max for the details?"

[redlightgreenlight]

“Perhaps. But I was born from violence, so who’s to say for certain what my true nature is.”

Her gaze flits away from him again.

“I am quite tired of being yanked around by beings more powerful than myself.”

It was why she had been so tempted by Aster and why she probably will be until she devours his heart too.

“You can ask Max, or Fever. I trust them to be truthful, though they are likely going to be protective of such things.”

Especially after what Efrain did to them.

[lordoftheozarks]

"That you, yourself, cannot say is equally as troubling." How does one form an identity around a core one cannot decipher? Perhaps that is the problem.

"I wish there could be a way to promise you it won't happen again, but we know such promises are fairy tales. You made a good choice today, regardless of what Max, Fever, or any of the others might say. I can't swear to protect you from powers greater than us both, but I will promise that I won't prey on your weakness like Aster would. Should you find yourself in need again, I can guarantee you that."

As for asking Max or Fever about that lost history, his tone softens to reassure her. "They are protective of you, so I would expect nothing less. I can wait to ask. It will keep. I'm more concerned with what you need in the present."

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis closes her eyes, tiredness starting to take over.

“I have not known what I am for some time. An Angel of Death? A Hellhound? Somehow both and neither at once.”

The title she could claim feels too wrong. To call herself something she hates even if it would fit.

“But either way, I would not have come to you if I believed you would take advantage of me. Not only would you not risk my wrath, or Max’s, you actually care about me.”

She’s already said that, but it bears repeating, if only to allow it to sink in for both of them.

“Which is probably why I trust you to guard me while I recover and ensure Max knows I am alright.”

She had left them all so suddenly and hidden herself until she couldn’t stand it any longer.

“It could be a few days.”

[lordoftheozarks]

"Perhaps you should decide a definition for yourself. You do seem to be, truly, one of a kind. I am sorry that it is so often a lonely existence." He's of the mind that she has a right to decide for herself what fits, but she'll have to come to that in her own time. All he can do is provide a place to keep her safe in the here and now.

"You're right, I do care. Almost in spite of myself, I do. You'll be safe here as long as you need." They've all been in captivity together, so there aren't even any appointments to cancel or rearrange. He'll have the house quiet for as long as she needs.

"I'll go now and call him on the sending stone. And Fever, too, if you'd like?"

[redlightgreenlight]

She sighs deeply, the exhaustion seeping in faster now.

“Yes. Just let them know I am safe and will find them when I can. I trust you will be delicate with the details should they ask.”

She would prefer to explain it all herself.

“Three days. Longer than that, you should probably get Neil. I’d prefer Erin, but she’s not here.”

[lordoftheozarks]

"Of course. I'll take care of it," he assures her.

He curses the way that name "Erin" still makes him squirm, but he makes no comment on it outwardly.

"Hopefully three days will be long enough, but if not you can rely on me. Rest now. I'll be in the other room over."