"Oh, if only I could make such a claim." Eshe's lip curls, her gaze holding the spot where Max and Lucas sat for a few moments longer before she turns to Erik. The mirth doesn't quite reach her eyes, but close enough that it's intent is clear.
"At least not until the pair of you waltzed into the bar did I realize what may be going on. It became very clear at the dinner party, but I couldn't help but wonder what game you were trying to play." Now her expression is whole and bright despite mirroring the same fear that radiates from her fellow Elder. "I believe we both bit off more than we could chew, hm?"
She leans in, stroking the back of her hand against Erik's cold, sharp cheek, her golden eyes flickering with wild excitement, alight as if she were a living being once again. "Frightening, isn't it? A taste of mortal life. I'd almost swear I could feel my heart racing. And it is thanks to our two little lights. Fate can be strange and wondrous, indeed."
---
Pressing his face against Max's chest Lucas clings tight until his knuckles are sore. he can't speak but hopefully his actions might in his stead. he doesn't want to let go. Despite the uncertain future, he wants to hold onto this.
Doing so means maintaining a lie, perpetuating that all is well in the house of Lord Osborne and that it has always been so.
Telling the truth means crumbling the foundation of Erik's territory, sending a rouge wave out from the epicenter to cause untold damage.
Complicating all of this is his relationship with the man in his arms. Lucas chokes down a sob but allows the tears to fall. If the truth ever got out it would call everything into question, his career, the years spent in training, it would all be swept away, too. And yet he can't resist the siren call of the truth. He had to know all of it, even the ugly bits. Why did Max leap to defend Erik, even after the horrible realty of Cassandra's visits had been exposed? It's more than mere loyalty, the Medium felt sure of it.
"Max," Lucas finally croaks. Each word is slow, spoken as if his tongue is made of lead, stomach curdling with every syllable. "What happened after Erik brought you here? What really happened?"
No matter what it costs him in the end, Lucas needs to uncover that crucial piece of the puzzle.
"I hope we truly haven't," Erik tells her. Bitten off more than they can chew, that is.
He's trying to look at it the way she is, as something exhilarating. But he just keeps thinking one thing, over and over. Wouldn't that just be like fate? To do them in with two lovers?
---
Lucas clings so hard to him. He wants to believe it's true. That Lucas wants to stay. He wants that so much. But he has to come clean. He has to tell the whole truth like he promised. Lucas has to know... even if it ruins them both.
"I..." A sob catches in his throat, and he convulses in Lucas' arms as if trying to let the words out physically pains him.
"I...need..." his knees are going out from under him again. He needs to sit down. He can't tell this story standing up. He doesn't want to tell it sober, either.
"Time will tell." That is the only certainty that lays before them all, Eshe muses. She lays a hand to Erik's shoulder before slipping from the chair, standing up.
"Walk with me, will you? What they speak to each other is not for us to know just yet."
Offering a hand out to her fellow Elder, Eshe hopes that he will follow. If fate is no longer in their hands then there's no point waiting here.
---
"Max!" Lucas regrets asking the moment he looks up and sees the effect it has on his love. His chest twists, pulling back just enough to support Max and guide him into the closest chair.
"You don't...I'm sorry." He kneels, not trusting his legs under him either. "You don't have to tell me anything, Max."
Part of him can guess, but Lucas doesn't want to test Max's loyalty to Erik. To put the man in the position of choosing...There's not much of a contest. For all the might that IOPSA can bring to bear, he can't protect Max the same way that Erik can.
"I can see," He whispers hoarsely, glad that he's not standing up anymore either. "If you let me. I can see..."
"Very well," says Erik. The slow way in which he stands evokes images of a mighty oak uprooting itself. How little he enjoys being at the mercy of fate. But, if he must walk this path, he can think of no one he would rather travel it with. He accepts her hand and follows her lead.
----
Max sinks onto a kitchen chair made of white wicker. It creaks and seems to moan in unison with him. Max clings to Lucas' shoulders as his love goes down to kneel before him. His grip is so tight it might even be painful.
"Lucas," he rasps, "I don't... I don't know what you'll see. I don't... I don't remember it. Just pieces..."
He's so cold. His teeth chatter together while his whole body shakes. "I...I-I killed Erik's sister. I-It was self-defense b-but they didn't s-see it that way. He had to, Lucas. I knew he had to. I k-knew. This was the o-only way."
The pain in his shoulders is easy to forget, especially when the icy fear clawing at his heart dwarfs it, swallowing everything else whole. It serves as an anchor, otherwise Lucas is sure he would have collapsed on the floor by now, to wail and gnash his teeth and the unfairness of everything crashing in around them.
Max's distress overrides his and Lucas refocuses on him. His hands gently cup his poor love's face, his voice brittle but soft at it's edges, full of all the love he can to pour into it.
"Shh, you don't have to remember any of it, Max. I don't have to...to know." He could find out, though. Whether reading Max or Erik or perhaps finding the place Max was kept, but he couldn't ask that of the poor man now. Especially when Lucas already knows the path he'll choose.
"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm not. Just breathe. In and out, with me, okay?" The truth could wait until they both weren't boiling over with emotion. It threatened to rend his soul in two seeing Max so upset, he had to make that right again.
Max closes his eyes and gulps down air. He needs to breathe. He's falling apart but he needs... he needs to keep it together. What if this is their last chance?
I'm not going anywhere.
Max clings to these words, as hard as he clings to Lucas. Breathe. He commands himself to do it, but his lungs won't expand. Breathe! Come on! He's so light-headed.
"You do," Max croaked, with the small amount of air he managed to drag into his lungs. "You have to know. I p-promised to tell you..."
Any thought or lingering worry for himself evaporates as Max's distress climb higher and higher. Lucas presses his hands a little tighter, to help anchor Max, and leans in to catch him in case the poor man passes out.
"Josiah!" Before things get too out of hand Lucas calls for the head of security, knowing that Josiah will hear him no matter what, and returns his focus to his love.
"Max, I need you to listen to me, alright? Just listen and breathe. I need you to let out a breath and then we'll breathe in together. Can you do that for me?"
Josiah is at their side instantly. His hand presses to Max's forehead, and he frowns. "I think he needs to go back to bed."
Max's grip on Lucas' shoulders goes slack. Breathe. He needs to... he can't. His chest is too tight. He can't. White spots dance in his peripheral vision. The whole room is spinning. Is he still sitting? Is that Josiah he hears?
"I'm sorry," he babbles. "I'm... I'm sor-" Everything winks into darkness. Max slumps back in the chair.
"He's only passed out," Josiah says calmly. "He's prone to that in situations of stress. I think we've pushed him as far as we can for a few hours."
Josiah lifts Max into his arms and looks to Lucas. "I'm taking him back downstairs. Last I saw Erik, he was walking with Eshe by the docks." That's Lucas' hint. If he wants more answers, he should go find the lord and inform him of what's happened.
Almost as an afterthought, he Josiah adds, "Max will be okay. Despite how this looks, he is stronger than he realizes."
All Lucas can do is watch as Max struggles to hang on before the lights go out. His heart drops into the lowest pit of his stomach. He nods, numb and unable to speak while Josiah does what he can't. Scooping Max up to whisk him away, safely tucking the poor man into bed. He pushed too far for the truth.
"Okay," is the only reply the Medium can muster, remaining frozen to the spot until Josiah had left with Max, leaving him alone. Lucas sinks to the floor, resting his arms and head on the chair Max had just been sitting in. He needed answers but he also needed a clear head. There was no time to fall apart now. He couldn't. That wasn't how an officer would handle it, after all.
Slowly over the gathering minutes Lucas reigned in his own breathing, clearing his muddled thoughts. Erik and Eshe were outside. Lucas dreaded going out to find them, but what choice did he have? He could spend hours trying to pick through the history of this place and still come up empty handed.
So he finally hauled himself to his feet, carefully picking his way out to the docks. Spying the pair of Elders is easy enough but he stops short. What can he even hope to ask?
"Ah, my little light. Come here," Eshe gestures with her free hand, beckoning the Medium forward. She gives Erik's hand a squeeze in turn, hoping to encourage them both. Lucas hesitates, his gaze falling to Erik.
"I...I'm sorry. I pushed Max too much. He...he passed out." It was his fault. Max is suffering now because of him, because of IOPSA and it's inability to do anything for him.
That squeeze from Eshe seemed as good a cue as any. The time had come for he and Lucas to talk.
"I take it Josiah has gone to tuck him into bed?" Erik asks, voice calm though a worry line forms a deep crease in his forehead. "Max is sometimes... delicate. But he will be all right."
Erik can see how deeply this cuts Lucas. But Max has always been prone to fainting. That alone isn't too concerning. It is, as far as Erik can tell, Max's natural form of defense against anything too upsetting. The vampire has to wonder how much Max managed to say before it overtook him.
Slipping his fingers free of Eshe, Erik takes a step away, toward the path that will take them back to the house. "Should we take a walk, Lucas? You won't mind, will you, Eshe?"
"Josiah's taking care of him, yeah." Lucas replies, almost robotically. He can taste bile at the back of his throat. He should be taking care of Max but he's only caused the man more pain. Maybe, a dark voice nags at him, Max would be better off without him.
Eshe let's Erik go without fanfare, standing between the two men and eyeing each in turn. This she would have to leave to them, to fate, although the reality of that does drip cold down her spine. So much is out of her control, now more than ever before.
"Of course. I'll find you later."
A promise, naturally, and perhaps a mild threat. She turns away from them both to continue walking along the property alone.
Lucas wishes he could have asked her to stay, but ultimately he knows this is for the best, so he waits in patient silence, stuffing his hands into well worn pockets to keep them from fidgeting against his side.
Erik swallows hard watching Eshe go. He knows a threat when he hears one. It's down to him now.
"I won't insult you by asking how you're doing," Erik starts, voice low and gentle. "You had a lot of questions when you left the table. How many of them was Max able to answer?"
There's a long beat of silence before Lucas's shoulders sag.
"None of them really. I freaked him out, and he passed out."
There's a note of self loathing in his tone, directed inwards. As much as he's unsure about Erik his earlier anger has been diffused, overridden being worried for Max.
"I think..." He starts again, careful and nervous like he's balancing high on a thin board, "Whatever my personal stake is in this, it doesn't...matter."
Lucas's voice cracks on the last word. IOPSA could look into this and see he's right in the thick of it. If it ever comes to light. But if it doesn't then...don't they all benefit? The calculated thought is like a knife in his back, twisting with every passing moment.
"If your territory collapses then Eshe's will too, and it's a power vacuum we have to avoid." Too much change all at once, and if the anti-Accord crowd swoops in they'll be positioned in a powerful place to flex their might.
Finally he hazards a quick glance up, unable to hold it like he wants to. "Am I right?"
Erik catches himself going very still, his breathing, even blinking, stopped while he waits for Lucas' words to fall. It's what he wants to hear. It's what he needs to hear. Lucas has grasped the situation perfectly.
Still, it is wounding to admit how fragile his power is even in his own territory.
"You are. If I fall, then it is very likely that she will too. But, I don't think it's fair to say your personal stake does not factor into this.
"If Eshe's territory is claimed by our enemies, the fighting will be on you doorstep. You branch of IOPSA will have a lot of extra work to do." They would be stretched so thin. How could they even consider allotting any manpower to protecting Max? They would have to make sacrifices. Either way, Lucas would lose.
For all his obliviousness and golden retriever qualities, Lucas has been paying attention and putting the pieces together in his mind. It's little comfort now as Erik confirms it all for him.
Slowly he draws a breath through his nose. What would the Chief say in his place? Or any senior officer? The weight of his answer hangs heavy across his shoulders. "It's not the extra work that's the...issue. We're already stretched thin but if it came to that we'd do what we could until no one is left." They were, as in the vow taken, the bridge between, but also a shield. Those would be enemies would have to get through IOPSA. "If we can avoid the bloodshed in the first place that's the better option. It doesn't matter what my personal feelings are for Max, though. This is bigger than that."
And oh how he tries not to sound bitter. He doesn't manage it. Someone better than him could have.
"I'm a retrocognitive, yeah." Lucas swallows thickly, dreading where this conversation is heading. "I can read memories from people or places."
"It's bigger than all of us," Erik agrees. "It always has been."
Until no one was left is exactly what Erik's enemies would be aiming for. IOPSA will be eradicated first. They are the only hope humanity truly has to hold back the forces of an organized vampire massacre. The fate of the world would be forever changed.
"But you and I will best be able to make Max happy if we can trust each other. Which is why I want to show you something. I want you to do a reading on me, and see for yourself that what I have done to Max was necessary. See it for yourself, then judge if I am wrong."
His stomach does a flip, roiling as Erik continues to speak while Lucas does his level best to tamp down on his rising anger. What good would it do now? Nothing could change the past, but the future remains unwritten. Would that future be a better one knowing exactly what cruelty Max suffered?
Whatever the case Lucas swore to himself that he would never see it as necessary. Some of it might have been, but not all of it.
"Alright," He says after a lengthy silence. "Let's see it. It's easier if you focus on that time, bring it to the front of your mind."
He takes a few ragged breaths, trying to slip into the retrocognitive zone. It's a struggle and takes longer than normal, but finally he motions for Erik to hold out his hand before Lucas reaches out, brushing fingertips to cold skin. Another breath and the memories begin.
It will be up to Lucas to decide. What Erik intends to show him will not be pretty. It will not be flattering for the vampire, either. But it is the truth, unfettered. Only that will ever satisfy the doubts that necessarily swirl in Lucas' mind.
"Believe me, this memory remains always at the front of my mind."
Erik waits and watches, a small lump of worry forming in his chest as it seems to take Lucas a long time to settle. Longer than it should. But, at last, he does reach out to brush the barest of touches to Lucas's hand.
[They are in a chamber that is darkly lit and seems to be made of stone. A young man is kneeling on the floor in front of him, naked and shivering from cold, with dried blood sticking to his neck and shoulder and spattered down his chest. He's a thick man, tall, but with rolls of skin at his sides and a bit of a chin giving him a boyishly round face. But those eyes that peek out beneath thick, shaggy curls are chocolate brown and full of fear. Lucas should recognize those eyes.
As Erik kneels down in front of his captive, the boy's lip and chin begin to quiver, and more tears well in his bloodshot eyes.
"Please," the boy begs, "don't hurt me. Please! I'm so s-sorry. I didn't mean to! I just... I was scared! She was biting me and I..."
"Shhh." Erik places a finger over those shivering lips to still them. "I know. I am not angry with you, boy. But those ones out there, they are. They demand your blood as payment. They will have it if I do not do something. Do you understand?"
"N-no," the boy whimpers.
Erik sighs, looking weary and somehow older for it. "It not just any vampire you killed. She was my sister, and she was next in line for my throne."
"I-I didn't know. I didn't-!"
"Quiet!" Erik snaps.
The boy goes still save for the dreadful trembling in his bound limbs, where his arms are cuffed behind him.
"Tonight, they will put you on trial. Though, I would not call it that. There is no jury of your peers for you now, human. You are judged by vampire law. If you want to live, there is only one way. Nod, if you are following me."
The trembling boy nods.
"Good," Erik continues. "She was my blood. This means my right to satisfaction will trump theirs. What I am owed from you is your life. But, I mean to take it in another way."
A barely contained whimper warbles in the boy's throat. Tears flow from his eyes. Erik uses his thumb to gently stroke them away, but the boy flinches at the touch.
"You will give up your past forever. The you that sits here is dead. He will be reborn as my servant. You will be mine, body and soul. You will belong to me; you will obey me. So long as you do that, you shall live. Do you want to live?"
Through his tears, the crying man nods. Yes, he wants to live.
"I swear that I will protect you," Erik vows. "I swear this. But, you will have to face them. I will have to parade you out in front of them. And I will have to hurt you. I'm sorry. You need to be strong now, young one. You need to grit your teeth and survive. Show me that you can do that. The pain when I put my mark on you will be unbearable. You will have to bear it regardless. Call upon whatever god you believe in to get you through. And then, swear yourself to me instead."
Erik takes the boy by the chin and tilts his head so that their eyes are forced to meet.
"Boy," he says with deadly seriousness. "If you cannot walk this path, tell me now. If you would rather die, I can make it quick and painless. You have mere seconds to decide your fate. What say you?"
"I want to live," says the man who will become Max Maximum. "Please, I want to live."
"Then, you shall. But first"--Erik stands and pulls the man to his feet by his arm--"you have to walk through hell."]
Lucas almost starts back from Erik's touch as the first part of the memory floods in. Jonah. So scared and alone, not knowing what a world of shit he's in for. Lucas can feel his stomach tie in knots, forcing himself to keep the connection going.
The truth, no matter how brutal, is what he needs to see.
It's laid out in front of him in vampire logic. They wanted blood for blood and this was the only way to save Jonah's life. Lucas couldn't deny that. It was everything that came after this day that filled him with blind fury. Did he have to break Jonah to make Max? To use him like this so many years later? A bartering chip?
To save his own territory and keep the stability of the region, Erik did it all.
By the end of it Lucas has caught his bottom lip, biting down hard to keep from trembling, from spilling the tears that sting in the corners of his eyes. An IOPSA officer should be impartial, should make the best decision to protect as many people as one feasibly can. Right now he's not sure he trusts himself to speak, battling rage and grief at the same time.
He can taste blood, but keeps silent and still chewing on his lip, retracting his hand before offering only a shaky nod. Anything else and Lucas isn't sure he could do what should be done. He already knows what that path is, but it feels like taking a knife and stabbing his love in the back, for turning a blind eye to everything that transpired here in this very manor.
For the greater good...
"I..." He croaks out, forcing himself to say anything at all but the words never come. So turning away from the Elder vampire, Lucas is intent on leaving the room, afraid he might crumble at a moment's notice.
Erik doesn't try to stop Lucas from leaving, but he calls to the Medium's back as he goes. "It wasn't a fair choice. I do realize that. There wasn't time. But it was his choice. And he still believes he made it for a reason.
"Please, Lucas, if you go against that... if you tell him it didn't have to be then... you'll be telling him he sacrificed it all for nothing. What I did was to save him, to help him survive. If you try to unravel it now... I'm afraid you may undo him."
Erik's voice is heavy with emotion, "I do care for him. I hope you can see that."
His gut roils again, threatening to bring up what little was left in it, the taste of bile at the back of his throat, but Lucas stops where he is and twists to look at Erik again. Jonah's choice to live or die.
What kind of choice is that, in the heat of the moment? He would have done the same thing. Except what happened after that was Erik's choice. How he molded Jonah into Max was still a mystery but Lucas could feel how the question crawled at his insides and burned at his soul.
That was the darker truth.
As much as he wanted to say it wasn't fair or just, or how dare Erik say that he would undo Max. To put that burden in his hands while the vampire keeps his own clean only serves to make Lucas angrier, like he might physically tear in two. Because he couldn't voice a single word of it. Not even to Max. The Ozark clan could not fall or it might spill over into other clans and unravel something greater than all of them.
"I know." The tears finally slip free, pooling at his chin. "I hope you know that he would chose you even now."
There's no malice in his tone. It's resignation as Lucas desperately tries to rebuild the walls he's let down over these wonderful few months, his voice almost monotone. A shell. Stuff the hurt away, like a good little officer and do your job.
"...Thank you for showing me." He adds, while it is an after thought, Lucas does mean it. Even as those words serve to hollow him out further. "I'll be outside."
Contemplating how he'll tell Max that he's throwing him back into this vampire cage and leaving him to the wolves, how his love should hate him for it, because he already hates himself. This time, as he turns, Lucas wipes at the blood on his lip but leaves the tears, not waiting for a reply to take his leave and meander out to the dock.
"What?" Erik sounds genuinely shocked by Lucas's reply. Max would choose... How could Lucas have gotten that idea? He's so stunned by it he doesn't immediately reply.
But, softly, as Lucas turns away again, he says, "You're wrong. He'd choose you. If he could. If it was safe..."
Erik has tried, for all these years, to keep Max happy and to show him love, but that night when he boldly asked Erik for a day off in order to spend it with Lucas, he chose already.
"He chose you, Lucas..." And Erik is the one standing in the way now, unable to move aside.
Those words never reach the Medium, at least not now. Perhaps in a reading some day, but for now Lucas takes his leave. Outside feels less stifling than the manor at the moment but even here he knows he's not alone. If not Erik or Eshe then surely Josiah is at least keeping an ear out for him, so even here he couldn't fall to pieces. Instead he tries to calm his breathing and wipe away his tears, to attempt to organize his frayed thoughts.
IOPSA couldn't protect Max and neither could he. Erik needs to maintain his hold on the Ozarks or Eshe's territory could go down with it. Erik cares for Max and loves him in his own way.
Lucas rolls these facts around in his brain. They leave him feeling like his hands are tied. How could he ask Max to run away with him after failing to protect him? No. There's no reason to now.
Just the thought of his love is enough to send Lucas spiraling again. He can't do this, but stealing these few days, their phone conversations, random memes, made the truth sting less. He could suffer the rest for these moments with Max because he can't leave the man either. The connection is too strong for him to deny it, even if doing so might make this easier. Like a moth to a flame he's drawn indoors again, to Max's apartment and then into the bedroom. He's careful and quiet. Max is still sleeping so he gently curls up on the bed beside the slumbering man, praying that sleep would take him too before despair does instead.
At some point the pull of slumber is strong enough to drag the Medium under, mercifully cocooning him in sweet oblivion.
Max wakes some time later to the wonderful sensation of a warm body nestled in close to him. For a foggy moment, he's confused. How did he get here? He was upstairs with Lucas...
Lucas.
He startles up, only to sigh with relief when he finds it's the Medium who's curled up here beside him. Max wraps his arms around Lucas and pulls him in tight. He whispers to his sleeping love, "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I don't know what to do. I...I love you, Lucas."
Silent tears drip down his face as he presses in closer, wishing he could go back to sleep at Lucas's side and stay in that warm safe bubble of nothingness with him. If only they could stay like this forever.
Movement rouses Lucas from slumber, but he's slow to shake it off. Safe and warm, the added comfort of Max's arms around him he thinks to stay like this in the grey between sleep and being fully awake. Nothing else exists here save for Max.
I love you, Lucas.
With a soft, sharp intake of breath his eyes open, bleary and puffy from crying, but find Max's instantly. Max loves him. The crushing weight in his chest is lifted. Despite everything Max loves him, so he doesn't hold back either.
"I love you too, Max. More than anything..." His lower lip wibbles, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. He catches the sore cut from biting it earlier, the pain helping hold him back from crying. "Nothing can change that."
Not even this hell they've found themselves in. Lucas throws his arms around his love, clinging hard. Words alone couldn't tell Max how much he loves him, and won't let him go. The future is murky but even if he can't save his love from this cage, he'll find a way, somehow, to make it less stifling, to continue seeing Max no matter what happens. Somehow. Somehow. The thought drums in him like his heartbeat.
"I'm the one who...should be sorry. And I am. Because...I know what I have to do. I have to break my promise." He swallows hard, trying to fight the clash of thoughts within him. Even knowing Max loves him Lucas feels certain he would still choose Erik if it ever came down to it. He wants to avoid that horrible choice no matter what it costs. So he takes a breath and continues on, "That I'd get you away from here some day. Because I can't keep you safe and Erik...Erik needs you. He loves you, too, you know."
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2021-06-01 02:34 am (UTC)"At least not until the pair of you waltzed into the bar did I realize what may be going on. It became very clear at the dinner party, but I couldn't help but wonder what game you were trying to play." Now her expression is whole and bright despite mirroring the same fear that radiates from her fellow Elder. "I believe we both bit off more than we could chew, hm?"
She leans in, stroking the back of her hand against Erik's cold, sharp cheek, her golden eyes flickering with wild excitement, alight as if she were a living being once again. "Frightening, isn't it? A taste of mortal life. I'd almost swear I could feel my heart racing. And it is thanks to our two little lights. Fate can be strange and wondrous, indeed."
---
Pressing his face against Max's chest Lucas clings tight until his knuckles are sore. he can't speak but hopefully his actions might in his stead. he doesn't want to let go. Despite the uncertain future, he wants to hold onto this.
Doing so means maintaining a lie, perpetuating that all is well in the house of Lord Osborne and that it has always been so.
Telling the truth means crumbling the foundation of Erik's territory, sending a rouge wave out from the epicenter to cause untold damage.
Complicating all of this is his relationship with the man in his arms. Lucas chokes down a sob but allows the tears to fall. If the truth ever got out it would call everything into question, his career, the years spent in training, it would all be swept away, too. And yet he can't resist the siren call of the truth. He had to know all of it, even the ugly bits. Why did Max leap to defend Erik, even after the horrible realty of Cassandra's visits had been exposed? It's more than mere loyalty, the Medium felt sure of it.
"Max," Lucas finally croaks. Each word is slow, spoken as if his tongue is made of lead, stomach curdling with every syllable. "What happened after Erik brought you here? What really happened?"
No matter what it costs him in the end, Lucas needs to uncover that crucial piece of the puzzle.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-02 12:59 am (UTC)He's trying to look at it the way she is, as something exhilarating. But he just keeps thinking one thing, over and over. Wouldn't that just be like fate? To do them in with two lovers?
---
Lucas clings so hard to him. He wants to believe it's true. That Lucas wants to stay. He wants that so much. But he has to come clean. He has to tell the whole truth like he promised. Lucas has to know... even if it ruins them both.
"I..." A sob catches in his throat, and he convulses in Lucas' arms as if trying to let the words out physically pains him.
"I...need..." his knees are going out from under him again. He needs to sit down. He can't tell this story standing up. He doesn't want to tell it sober, either.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-06 02:22 am (UTC)"Walk with me, will you? What they speak to each other is not for us to know just yet."
Offering a hand out to her fellow Elder, Eshe hopes that he will follow. If fate is no longer in their hands then there's no point waiting here.
---
"Max!" Lucas regrets asking the moment he looks up and sees the effect it has on his love. His chest twists, pulling back just enough to support Max and guide him into the closest chair.
"You don't...I'm sorry." He kneels, not trusting his legs under him either. "You don't have to tell me anything, Max."
Part of him can guess, but Lucas doesn't want to test Max's loyalty to Erik. To put the man in the position of choosing...There's not much of a contest. For all the might that IOPSA can bring to bear, he can't protect Max the same way that Erik can.
"I can see," He whispers hoarsely, glad that he's not standing up anymore either. "If you let me. I can see..."
no subject
Date: 2021-06-12 01:11 am (UTC)----
Max sinks onto a kitchen chair made of white wicker. It creaks and seems to moan in unison with him. Max clings to Lucas' shoulders as his love goes down to kneel before him. His grip is so tight it might even be painful.
"Lucas," he rasps, "I don't... I don't know what you'll see. I don't... I don't remember it. Just pieces..."
He's so cold. His teeth chatter together while his whole body shakes. "I...I-I killed Erik's sister. I-It was self-defense b-but they didn't s-see it that way. He had to, Lucas. I knew he had to. I k-knew. This was the o-only way."
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Date: 2021-06-12 01:29 am (UTC)Max's distress overrides his and Lucas refocuses on him. His hands gently cup his poor love's face, his voice brittle but soft at it's edges, full of all the love he can to pour into it.
"Shh, you don't have to remember any of it, Max. I don't have to...to know." He could find out, though. Whether reading Max or Erik or perhaps finding the place Max was kept, but he couldn't ask that of the poor man now. Especially when Lucas already knows the path he'll choose.
"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm not. Just breathe. In and out, with me, okay?" The truth could wait until they both weren't boiling over with emotion. It threatened to rend his soul in two seeing Max so upset, he had to make that right again.
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Date: 2021-06-15 12:14 am (UTC)I'm not going anywhere.
Max clings to these words, as hard as he clings to Lucas. Breathe. He commands himself to do it, but his lungs won't expand. Breathe! Come on! He's so light-headed.
"You do," Max croaked, with the small amount of air he managed to drag into his lungs. "You have to know. I p-promised to tell you..."
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Date: 2021-06-15 05:03 pm (UTC)"Josiah!" Before things get too out of hand Lucas calls for the head of security, knowing that Josiah will hear him no matter what, and returns his focus to his love.
"Max, I need you to listen to me, alright? Just listen and breathe. I need you to let out a breath and then we'll breathe in together. Can you do that for me?"
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Date: 2021-06-15 05:26 pm (UTC)Max's grip on Lucas' shoulders goes slack. Breathe. He needs to... he can't. His chest is too tight. He can't. White spots dance in his peripheral vision. The whole room is spinning. Is he still sitting? Is that Josiah he hears?
"I'm sorry," he babbles. "I'm... I'm sor-" Everything winks into darkness. Max slumps back in the chair.
"He's only passed out," Josiah says calmly. "He's prone to that in situations of stress. I think we've pushed him as far as we can for a few hours."
Josiah lifts Max into his arms and looks to Lucas. "I'm taking him back downstairs. Last I saw Erik, he was walking with Eshe by the docks." That's Lucas' hint. If he wants more answers, he should go find the lord and inform him of what's happened.
Almost as an afterthought, he Josiah adds, "Max will be okay. Despite how this looks, he is stronger than he realizes."
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Date: 2021-06-15 06:05 pm (UTC)"Okay," is the only reply the Medium can muster, remaining frozen to the spot until Josiah had left with Max, leaving him alone. Lucas sinks to the floor, resting his arms and head on the chair Max had just been sitting in. He needed answers but he also needed a clear head. There was no time to fall apart now. He couldn't. That wasn't how an officer would handle it, after all.
Slowly over the gathering minutes Lucas reigned in his own breathing, clearing his muddled thoughts. Erik and Eshe were outside. Lucas dreaded going out to find them, but what choice did he have? He could spend hours trying to pick through the history of this place and still come up empty handed.
So he finally hauled himself to his feet, carefully picking his way out to the docks. Spying the pair of Elders is easy enough but he stops short. What can he even hope to ask?
"Ah, my little light. Come here," Eshe gestures with her free hand, beckoning the Medium forward. She gives Erik's hand a squeeze in turn, hoping to encourage them both. Lucas hesitates, his gaze falling to Erik.
"I...I'm sorry. I pushed Max too much. He...he passed out." It was his fault. Max is suffering now because of him, because of IOPSA and it's inability to do anything for him.
too lazy to switch accounts
Date: 2021-06-15 06:35 pm (UTC)"I take it Josiah has gone to tuck him into bed?" Erik asks, voice calm though a worry line forms a deep crease in his forehead. "Max is sometimes... delicate. But he will be all right."
Erik can see how deeply this cuts Lucas. But Max has always been prone to fainting. That alone isn't too concerning. It is, as far as Erik can tell, Max's natural form of defense against anything too upsetting. The vampire has to wonder how much Max managed to say before it overtook him.
Slipping his fingers free of Eshe, Erik takes a step away, toward the path that will take them back to the house. "Should we take a walk, Lucas? You won't mind, will you, Eshe?"
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Date: 2021-06-15 08:04 pm (UTC)Eshe let's Erik go without fanfare, standing between the two men and eyeing each in turn. This she would have to leave to them, to fate, although the reality of that does drip cold down her spine. So much is out of her control, now more than ever before.
"Of course. I'll find you later."
A promise, naturally, and perhaps a mild threat. She turns away from them both to continue walking along the property alone.
Lucas wishes he could have asked her to stay, but ultimately he knows this is for the best, so he waits in patient silence, stuffing his hands into well worn pockets to keep them from fidgeting against his side.
"Sure, let's walk."
still too lazy
Date: 2021-06-15 08:17 pm (UTC)"I won't insult you by asking how you're doing," Erik starts, voice low and gentle. "You had a lot of questions when you left the table. How many of them was Max able to answer?"
all good <3
Date: 2021-06-15 08:32 pm (UTC)"None of them really. I freaked him out, and he passed out."
There's a note of self loathing in his tone, directed inwards. As much as he's unsure about Erik his earlier anger has been diffused, overridden being worried for Max.
"I think..." He starts again, careful and nervous like he's balancing high on a thin board, "Whatever my personal stake is in this, it doesn't...matter."
Lucas's voice cracks on the last word. IOPSA could look into this and see he's right in the thick of it. If it ever comes to light. But if it doesn't then...don't they all benefit? The calculated thought is like a knife in his back, twisting with every passing moment.
"If your territory collapses then Eshe's will too, and it's a power vacuum we have to avoid." Too much change all at once, and if the anti-Accord crowd swoops in they'll be positioned in a powerful place to flex their might.
Finally he hazards a quick glance up, unable to hold it like he wants to. "Am I right?"
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Date: 2021-06-15 09:04 pm (UTC)Still, it is wounding to admit how fragile his power is even in his own territory.
"You are. If I fall, then it is very likely that she will too. But, I don't think it's fair to say your personal stake does not factor into this.
"If Eshe's territory is claimed by our enemies, the fighting will be on you doorstep. You branch of IOPSA will have a lot of extra work to do." They would be stretched so thin. How could they even consider allotting any manpower to protecting Max? They would have to make sacrifices. Either way, Lucas would lose.
"You read memories. Isn't that right?"
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Date: 2021-06-15 09:45 pm (UTC)Slowly he draws a breath through his nose. What would the Chief say in his place? Or any senior officer? The weight of his answer hangs heavy across his shoulders. "It's not the extra work that's the...issue. We're already stretched thin but if it came to that we'd do what we could until no one is left." They were, as in the vow taken, the bridge between, but also a shield. Those would be enemies would have to get through IOPSA. "If we can avoid the bloodshed in the first place that's the better option. It doesn't matter what my personal feelings are for Max, though. This is bigger than that."
And oh how he tries not to sound bitter. He doesn't manage it. Someone better than him could have.
"I'm a retrocognitive, yeah." Lucas swallows thickly, dreading where this conversation is heading. "I can read memories from people or places."
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Date: 2021-06-20 11:33 pm (UTC)Until no one was left is exactly what Erik's enemies would be aiming for. IOPSA will be eradicated first. They are the only hope humanity truly has to hold back the forces of an organized vampire massacre. The fate of the world would be forever changed.
"But you and I will best be able to make Max happy if we can trust each other. Which is why I want to show you something. I want you to do a reading on me, and see for yourself that what I have done to Max was necessary. See it for yourself, then judge if I am wrong."
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Date: 2021-06-28 02:35 pm (UTC)His stomach does a flip, roiling as Erik continues to speak while Lucas does his level best to tamp down on his rising anger. What good would it do now? Nothing could change the past, but the future remains unwritten. Would that future be a better one knowing exactly what cruelty Max suffered?
Whatever the case Lucas swore to himself that he would never see it as necessary. Some of it might have been, but not all of it.
"Alright," He says after a lengthy silence. "Let's see it. It's easier if you focus on that time, bring it to the front of your mind."
He takes a few ragged breaths, trying to slip into the retrocognitive zone. It's a struggle and takes longer than normal, but finally he motions for Erik to hold out his hand before Lucas reaches out, brushing fingertips to cold skin. Another breath and the memories begin.
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Date: 2021-07-06 08:22 pm (UTC)"Believe me, this memory remains always at the front of my mind."
Erik waits and watches, a small lump of worry forming in his chest as it seems to take Lucas a long time to settle. Longer than it should. But, at last, he does reach out to brush the barest of touches to Lucas's hand.
[They are in a chamber that is darkly lit and seems to be made of stone. A young man is kneeling on the floor in front of him, naked and shivering from cold, with dried blood sticking to his neck and shoulder and spattered down his chest. He's a thick man, tall, but with rolls of skin at his sides and a bit of a chin giving him a boyishly round face. But those eyes that peek out beneath thick, shaggy curls are chocolate brown and full of fear. Lucas should recognize those eyes.
As Erik kneels down in front of his captive, the boy's lip and chin begin to quiver, and more tears well in his bloodshot eyes.
"Please," the boy begs, "don't hurt me. Please! I'm so s-sorry. I didn't mean to! I just... I was scared! She was biting me and I..."
"Shhh." Erik places a finger over those shivering lips to still them. "I know. I am not angry with you, boy. But those ones out there, they are. They demand your blood as payment. They will have it if I do not do something. Do you understand?"
"N-no," the boy whimpers.
Erik sighs, looking weary and somehow older for it. "It not just any vampire you killed. She was my sister, and she was next in line for my throne."
"I-I didn't know. I didn't-!"
"Quiet!" Erik snaps.
The boy goes still save for the dreadful trembling in his bound limbs, where his arms are cuffed behind him.
"Tonight, they will put you on trial. Though, I would not call it that. There is no jury of your peers for you now, human. You are judged by vampire law. If you want to live, there is only one way. Nod, if you are following me."
The trembling boy nods.
"Good," Erik continues. "She was my blood. This means my right to satisfaction will trump theirs. What I am owed from you is your life. But, I mean to take it in another way."
A barely contained whimper warbles in the boy's throat. Tears flow from his eyes. Erik uses his thumb to gently stroke them away, but the boy flinches at the touch.
"You will give up your past forever. The you that sits here is dead. He will be reborn as my servant. You will be mine, body and soul. You will belong to me; you will obey me. So long as you do that, you shall live. Do you want to live?"
Through his tears, the crying man nods. Yes, he wants to live.
"I swear that I will protect you," Erik vows. "I swear this. But, you will have to face them. I will have to parade you out in front of them. And I will have to hurt you. I'm sorry. You need to be strong now, young one. You need to grit your teeth and survive. Show me that you can do that. The pain when I put my mark on you will be unbearable. You will have to bear it regardless. Call upon whatever god you believe in to get you through. And then, swear yourself to me instead."
Erik takes the boy by the chin and tilts his head so that their eyes are forced to meet.
"Boy," he says with deadly seriousness. "If you cannot walk this path, tell me now. If you would rather die, I can make it quick and painless. You have mere seconds to decide your fate. What say you?"
"I want to live," says the man who will become Max Maximum. "Please, I want to live."
"Then, you shall. But first"--Erik stands and pulls the man to his feet by his arm--"you have to walk through hell."]
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Date: 2021-07-07 12:37 am (UTC)The truth, no matter how brutal, is what he needs to see.
It's laid out in front of him in vampire logic. They wanted blood for blood and this was the only way to save Jonah's life. Lucas couldn't deny that. It was everything that came after this day that filled him with blind fury. Did he have to break Jonah to make Max? To use him like this so many years later? A bartering chip?
To save his own territory and keep the stability of the region, Erik did it all.
By the end of it Lucas has caught his bottom lip, biting down hard to keep from trembling, from spilling the tears that sting in the corners of his eyes. An IOPSA officer should be impartial, should make the best decision to protect as many people as one feasibly can. Right now he's not sure he trusts himself to speak, battling rage and grief at the same time.
He can taste blood, but keeps silent and still chewing on his lip, retracting his hand before offering only a shaky nod. Anything else and Lucas isn't sure he could do what should be done. He already knows what that path is, but it feels like taking a knife and stabbing his love in the back, for turning a blind eye to everything that transpired here in this very manor.
For the greater good...
"I..." He croaks out, forcing himself to say anything at all but the words never come. So turning away from the Elder vampire, Lucas is intent on leaving the room, afraid he might crumble at a moment's notice.
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Date: 2021-07-07 12:55 am (UTC)"Please, Lucas, if you go against that... if you tell him it didn't have to be then... you'll be telling him he sacrificed it all for nothing. What I did was to save him, to help him survive. If you try to unravel it now... I'm afraid you may undo him."
Erik's voice is heavy with emotion, "I do care for him. I hope you can see that."
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Date: 2021-07-07 01:24 am (UTC)What kind of choice is that, in the heat of the moment? He would have done the same thing. Except what happened after that was Erik's choice. How he molded Jonah into Max was still a mystery but Lucas could feel how the question crawled at his insides and burned at his soul.
That was the darker truth.
As much as he wanted to say it wasn't fair or just, or how dare Erik say that he would undo Max. To put that burden in his hands while the vampire keeps his own clean only serves to make Lucas angrier, like he might physically tear in two. Because he couldn't voice a single word of it. Not even to Max. The Ozark clan could not fall or it might spill over into other clans and unravel something greater than all of them.
"I know." The tears finally slip free, pooling at his chin. "I hope you know that he would chose you even now."
There's no malice in his tone. It's resignation as Lucas desperately tries to rebuild the walls he's let down over these wonderful few months, his voice almost monotone. A shell. Stuff the hurt away, like a good little officer and do your job.
"...Thank you for showing me." He adds, while it is an after thought, Lucas does mean it. Even as those words serve to hollow him out further. "I'll be outside."
Contemplating how he'll tell Max that he's throwing him back into this vampire cage and leaving him to the wolves, how his love should hate him for it, because he already hates himself. This time, as he turns, Lucas wipes at the blood on his lip but leaves the tears, not waiting for a reply to take his leave and meander out to the dock.
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Date: 2021-07-07 02:49 am (UTC)But, softly, as Lucas turns away again, he says, "You're wrong. He'd choose you. If he could. If it was safe..."
Erik has tried, for all these years, to keep Max happy and to show him love, but that night when he boldly asked Erik for a day off in order to spend it with Lucas, he chose already.
"He chose you, Lucas..." And Erik is the one standing in the way now, unable to move aside.
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Date: 2021-07-07 03:25 am (UTC)IOPSA couldn't protect Max and neither could he. Erik needs to maintain his hold on the Ozarks or Eshe's territory could go down with it. Erik cares for Max and loves him in his own way.
Lucas rolls these facts around in his brain. They leave him feeling like his hands are tied. How could he ask Max to run away with him after failing to protect him? No. There's no reason to now.
Just the thought of his love is enough to send Lucas spiraling again. He can't do this, but stealing these few days, their phone conversations, random memes, made the truth sting less. He could suffer the rest for these moments with Max because he can't leave the man either. The connection is too strong for him to deny it, even if doing so might make this easier. Like a moth to a flame he's drawn indoors again, to Max's apartment and then into the bedroom. He's careful and quiet. Max is still sleeping so he gently curls up on the bed beside the slumbering man, praying that sleep would take him too before despair does instead.
At some point the pull of slumber is strong enough to drag the Medium under, mercifully cocooning him in sweet oblivion.
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Date: 2021-07-07 01:06 pm (UTC)Lucas.
He startles up, only to sigh with relief when he finds it's the Medium who's curled up here beside him. Max wraps his arms around Lucas and pulls him in tight. He whispers to his sleeping love, "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I don't know what to do. I...I love you, Lucas."
Silent tears drip down his face as he presses in closer, wishing he could go back to sleep at Lucas's side and stay in that warm safe bubble of nothingness with him. If only they could stay like this forever.
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Date: 2021-07-07 03:15 pm (UTC)I love you, Lucas.
With a soft, sharp intake of breath his eyes open, bleary and puffy from crying, but find Max's instantly. Max loves him. The crushing weight in his chest is lifted. Despite everything Max loves him, so he doesn't hold back either.
"I love you too, Max. More than anything..." His lower lip wibbles, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. He catches the sore cut from biting it earlier, the pain helping hold him back from crying. "Nothing can change that."
Not even this hell they've found themselves in. Lucas throws his arms around his love, clinging hard. Words alone couldn't tell Max how much he loves him, and won't let him go. The future is murky but even if he can't save his love from this cage, he'll find a way, somehow, to make it less stifling, to continue seeing Max no matter what happens. Somehow. Somehow. The thought drums in him like his heartbeat.
"I'm the one who...should be sorry. And I am. Because...I know what I have to do. I have to break my promise." He swallows hard, trying to fight the clash of thoughts within him. Even knowing Max loves him Lucas feels certain he would still choose Erik if it ever came down to it. He wants to avoid that horrible choice no matter what it costs. So he takes a breath and continues on, "That I'd get you away from here some day. Because I can't keep you safe and Erik...Erik needs you. He loves you, too, you know."
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