From just outside of Erik's property line one evening, Erin's voice calls out. "Unarmed and without ill intent, I request the pleasure of your hospitality, Erik."
Nice and formal. It helps that Erin doesn't currently own a weapon that isn't a Contract.
He sighs, closes his eyes, and takes a nice big breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. He's so tempted to respond with some petty reply about how it won't be a pleasure. But, no. For Max's sake (and his own) he will abide by the rules of hospitality and he'll even try to be nice about it.
"I hereby extend my hospitality to you," Erik says, suddenly in front of her. "What brings you to my home?"
"High mischief and psychological attacks that would get me sentenced to death in a just world." Erin kinda wiggles her eyebrows. "It's best discussed inside, but I promise: your services, if provided, will be undetected."
"It is only because I know you will keep to your word that I do not turn you away right now after hearing even half of that." His services? She can't mean his usual services.
"I'm too curious now. Come in." He'll turn and make for his front door, expecting her to follow.
The inside of his home has had some upgrades. New curtains were necessary after the flood and he could afford heavy textiles this time, in red and gold, of course. A comfortable sofa, deep maroon, and matching high-backed chair are set in front of the hearth, which is lit. He'll guide them both there, but he takes the chair.
Alas, Erin can't truly see Erik's tasteful furniture, but boy does that couch get an Appreciative Sound out of her when she sinks into it. For a moment she just luxuriates, and then she says: "I have...a prank, in mind. It's going to need a small group that I can trust to be discreet, work quickly, and - optionally, very optionally, pony up some cash." She flashes a sharp grin. "I want you to imagine that one morning, everyone wakes up, and there's a Burger King in town where none was before."
He can't be hearing this right. He can't. This is insane. The last time they spoke, she broke his nose. She can't really be here asking for his help and his money for a prank?!
The room is dead silent for half a minute while he sits there, petrified by shock, looking at her unblinkingly as if he doesn't quite believe she's real. Could this be a prank?
"Deadly serious, and I'm here at your home for rational reasons if you can believe it. 'Superhuman strength and endurance', 'discretion', and 'can't participate in the prank' are a really, REALLY short list that's just you and Daisy, and Daisy already said yes."
Erik's chair creaks as he slowly uncrosses and recrosses his legs. She really is mad. How many times did she kill him and in how many torturous ways? And now here she is asking him for his strength and his discretion? He could almost laugh.
"You know, usually, when one asks to hire services, they offer payment of some kind? You're asking for quite a lot from me. Why? Just because?"
He notices that look on her face and adds, disgusted, "Don't tell me it's to impress Daisy."
"Malice is its own reward," Erin not-answers, Mysteriously(tm), as she comes back to reality. "I both am, and am not, human. Let a bitch indulge in some monstrous curiosity, yeah? But as far as payment goes, consider: this is me being serious about there being peace between us, one. Two, I'm willing to offer one pint of my blood, to be extracted by that doctor friend of yours from the party. Do be careful with it, it's made of drugs. As for any hypothetical funds..."
She leans forward, and grins sharp. "I suppose I'd owe you a favor."
"I'll answer that after I make something clear: no amount of money you can offer is going to be worth a life, myself or someone else's. I'm offering what my people might call a medial favor - a season's worth of annoying labor, f'rinstance, delivering something through dangerous territory, punch out a bear and bring you the bear, that kinda thing. Is there an understanding between us on this, Erik?"
As for the shape of peace...
Well. Erin had expected a different shape of peace when she was given a community too, once.
"Understood. Just to state it for the record, I would never have asked you to kill or maim anyone. Hard as it may be for you to believe, I'm not the sort of man. Rest assured, I would rather think of something perfectly innocuous and yet infuriatingly tedious for you to do." Or, he will keep this in his back pocket in case he finds himself in actual need later on.
Another long pause.
"I cannot believe I am truly going to entertain this ludicrous idea."
"Behold the power of the waking land and the flooding river, the blooming flower and the stirring bee, the frigid mornings and the muggy days, when the clouds choke back the stars and shower their love on the bent grasses that stir yet from sleep." Erin gestures with her free hand and continues to actually answer the question: "Believe it or not, Burger King was after a lot of thought. One big reason is to make others ask the same question you just asked, but hear me out: the location we have picked out will be convenient to the miners and other heavy labor folks, and by being near a trolley station it'll have access to the rest of the town too. That predisposes me towards a fast-food type deal over, say, an Applebee's or a Friday's or a Chili's. Now, speaking of those kinds of places, they have aesthetics that are more comprehensible to Americans but really rely on an Earth context - sports stuff, televisions, all kinds of shit I just can't install. So anything like that? Out."
Okay leaning forward is a bit much for back right now, so Erin presses herself back into this glorious fucking couch. "So that leaves a few options. I dunno about you but I don't think I can get away with a Panda Express, Subway poorly sucks ass and then asks for a tip, pizza places take too long and require delivery. Now, I could do McDonald's, everyone knows the Golden Arches, but word around the place is there's some kind of demon hellclown from fuckville that people here don't like at all and I don't need to give that dude ideas. But Burger King is nearly as famous, people in this world actually have monarchies sometimes, it fills a similar niche, and since it's thought of as the lower-rent version of McDonald's it'll cause the Earthlings even more emotional anguish to see."
As much as he doesn't want to believe it, he does. She's put an infuriatingly large amount of thought into this and he can't find a reason to disagree with her conclusions. He's almost equally as mad about how much she's enjoying the hospitality of his very fine and expensive cushions. Is he really about to go in on a project where he will have to see her repetitively for, how long, weeks? Sigh. No one had better ever accuse him of not trying to build his bridges enough after this.
"Fine. Fine. I'll pitch in. But, I don't know how you expect me to keep Max from trying to plant his flag in this."
"He'll keep his own flag out," Erin answers simply. "Max wanted to open a real bakery. My little brother will be tempted, sure, he'll have a flash of puppy-like eagerness, but after a word from Valdis and maybe seeing the ghastly mask I'ma get built, he'll reconsider. Besides, look on the positive side: you're gonna see a lot of Fever about this. I know I like just lookin' at 'er."
Once again he is annoyed to find he agrees with her assessment. His expression does turn sour at the mention of Valdis's name but he doesn't remark on it. He pulls an altogether less readable face when Fever's name is mentioned, but it's laced with suspicion. How much does she know of his and Fever's dealings together?
"I like conversing with Fever, as well, but I don't have to perform manual labor to do that, do I? You've already procured my commitment; don't make me regret it immediately."
"I'm sure you'll have no cause for regrets," Erin demurs. "Now, any standing questions? Because otherwise we'll meet as seldom as possible and ideally get everything done in a flurry after gently, gradually, buying the needed materials over time."
Beat.
"Actually I have one pertinent question for you, and I promise you the source of this question is the bit where I have no fucking eyeballs: how good is your handwriting and lettering? Someone's gotta do the signage."
He huffs out a resigned sigh and shakes his head again, still in disbelief at himself. "I have excellent penmanship. I'm sure I can handle that part just fine."
"Excellent. Between you and Fever...well." Erin grins. "I promise by the end of this you'll have an appreciation for my sense of humor, great lord. And I imagine that appreciation will be extremely annoying."
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lordoftheozarks) wrote2023-06-13 08:20 pm
Evening | May
Nice and formal. It helps that Erin doesn't currently own a weapon that isn't a Contract.
Re: Evening | May
He sighs, closes his eyes, and takes a nice big breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. He's so tempted to respond with some petty reply about how it won't be a pleasure. But, no. For Max's sake (and his own) he will abide by the rules of hospitality and he'll even try to be nice about it.
"I hereby extend my hospitality to you," Erik says, suddenly in front of her. "What brings you to my home?"
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"I'm too curious now. Come in." He'll turn and make for his front door, expecting her to follow.
The inside of his home has had some upgrades. New curtains were necessary after the flood and he could afford heavy textiles this time, in red and gold, of course. A comfortable sofa, deep maroon, and matching high-backed chair are set in front of the hearth, which is lit. He'll guide them both there, but he takes the chair.
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The room is dead silent for half a minute while he sits there, petrified by shock, looking at her unblinkingly as if he doesn't quite believe she's real. Could this be a prank?
At length, "You can't be serious?"
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A lovestruck look crosses Erin's face.
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"You know, usually, when one asks to hire services, they offer payment of some kind? You're asking for quite a lot from me. Why? Just because?"
He notices that look on her face and adds, disgusted, "Don't tell me it's to impress Daisy."
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She leans forward, and grins sharp. "I suppose I'd owe you a favor."
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Her offer of blood is tempting, but that alone he might still have turned away. Her owing a favor... he can't refuse that.
God.
Is he really doing this?
"Why a Burger King?"
He has to ask. He can't just agree to this and not ask first?
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As for the shape of peace...
Well. Erin had expected a different shape of peace when she was given a community too, once.
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Another long pause.
"I cannot believe I am truly going to entertain this ludicrous idea."
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Okay leaning forward is a bit much for back right now, so Erin presses herself back into this glorious fucking couch. "So that leaves a few options. I dunno about you but I don't think I can get away with a Panda Express, Subway poorly sucks ass and then asks for a tip, pizza places take too long and require delivery. Now, I could do McDonald's, everyone knows the Golden Arches, but word around the place is there's some kind of demon hellclown from fuckville that people here don't like at all and I don't need to give that dude ideas. But Burger King is nearly as famous, people in this world actually have monarchies sometimes, it fills a similar niche, and since it's thought of as the lower-rent version of McDonald's it'll cause the Earthlings even more emotional anguish to see."
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"Fine. Fine. I'll pitch in. But, I don't know how you expect me to keep Max from trying to plant his flag in this."
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"I like conversing with Fever, as well, but I don't have to perform manual labor to do that, do I? You've already procured my commitment; don't make me regret it immediately."
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Beat.
"Actually I have one pertinent question for you, and I promise you the source of this question is the bit where I have no fucking eyeballs: how good is your handwriting and lettering? Someone's gotta do the signage."
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Wrap?
Wrap!
Now get out of his house!