She's not sure what to expect from him. In fact, it wouldn't have surprised her too much if he'd taken the other side, said she deserved it all, because while she tries to think the best of people, that's not as easy for her as it used to be. Yet instead, he understands. He understands it exactly, what was done to her and why it wounded her so deeply.
She nods. 'Contracts are that way in my culture - in my entire sector. Breaking one is a crime. Destroys reputations, careers... a contract-breaker is in the wrong just as clearly as an aggressor is. That was the worst of the damage, but it didn't start there. My captor was a sadist who profited from other people's suffering, but he never had to hurt me himself. The other prisoners did that. Physically, or by trying to tear me down, convince me there was no escape and I should stop trying. People used to come back from the dead, as long as they were useful, and then when they weren't, whatever remained of them was sent to... to some horrific sensory deprivation torture chamber. Indefinitely. I never understood how anyone, knowing that, could do anything other than loathe their captor and fight for their freedom. However pretty they thought the prison was.'
It did far more damage to Tayrey, feeling so isolated, so alone in what to her was simple truth. One evil tyrant holding people captive wouldn't be enough to shake her faith in humanity. The behavior of most of her fellow prisoners had done that.
Then she looks up at Erik again, blinks away her tears and meets his eye, and there's something of that Tradeline spirit still in her when she tells him, 'I value that you aren't taking my hesitation personally. If you give me this information, I won't share it. On my honor as a Tradeliner, word by contract.' She trusts him far enough for that, knows he won't dismiss her word as worthless.
no subject
She nods. 'Contracts are that way in my culture - in my entire sector. Breaking one is a crime. Destroys reputations, careers... a contract-breaker is in the wrong just as clearly as an aggressor is. That was the worst of the damage, but it didn't start there. My captor was a sadist who profited from other people's suffering, but he never had to hurt me himself. The other prisoners did that. Physically, or by trying to tear me down, convince me there was no escape and I should stop trying. People used to come back from the dead, as long as they were useful, and then when they weren't, whatever remained of them was sent to... to some horrific sensory deprivation torture chamber. Indefinitely. I never understood how anyone, knowing that, could do anything other than loathe their captor and fight for their freedom. However pretty they thought the prison was.'
It did far more damage to Tayrey, feeling so isolated, so alone in what to her was simple truth. One evil tyrant holding people captive wouldn't be enough to shake her faith in humanity. The behavior of most of her fellow prisoners had done that.
Then she looks up at Erik again, blinks away her tears and meets his eye, and there's something of that Tradeline spirit still in her when she tells him, 'I value that you aren't taking my hesitation personally. If you give me this information, I won't share it. On my honor as a Tradeliner, word by contract.' She trusts him far enough for that, knows he won't dismiss her word as worthless.